Thursday, May 15, 2008

cigarettes and speed to live and sleeping pills to feel forgiven

I like to think that my mother sent this in to postsecret, but I know she didn't
not because she doesn't even know what postsecret is to begin with
or the fact that I'm not 1,500 miles away
but because I know she didn't miss me that much

Sometimes I wish I was young again
especially when my mom and I would have the house to just the two of us because my dad was out of town on a business trip
She would let me stay up late and play dolls with me
I always thought she was much happier when it was just the two of us
I'm not saying my dad is a bad person, but over the past 10 years or so, I've seen my mother age greatly due to all the stress he has put on her
and she doesn't laugh like she used to when it was just the two of us

When I went away to school, I knew I would miss my friends
but I felt so guilty for leaving my mom behind, but now I'm home
I'm glad to see she had done just fine without me

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