"I'll trade you pencils for sex"

I always thought I would miss my sisters a lot, but I miss Frankie far more then I could ever miss them ( no offense if any of you by chance read this).
Dont get me wrong, I do miss my sisters, but Frankie and I connected on such a different level.
First off, I met this kid online and we ended up becoming best friends within the first week of college for the two of us.
I honestly don't think I have a bad or sour memory of my good friend Frankie. If I was down or going fucking crazy (which he was lucky enough to see), he would snap me back into reality. I don't think I would have made it out alive second semester if I didn't have him there to help me.

I love this kid so much, I didn't kill him or even make him pay when he broke the window in the back of my car.

One thing that always made me upset with some of my sisters was the way they treated him. I don't know why they had such hateful feelings towards him, but he certainly doesn't deserve it. I know I used to yell at him a lot, but the kid is a goofball, BUT THE BEST GOOFBALL EVVVVVVEEERRR!

Happy Birthday Frankie, I love you and miss you!

grow up and blow away

It's been over 9 months since I cut over 11 inches of my hair off
and to this very day, I still feel super lost without my hair

Yeah, big deal....it's just hair
well that's what I thought at first, but my hair was ME
I used to put colorful highlights in each month to add some flare
I could wear it wavy (which is doesn't do anymore) or have it pin straight
getting ready in the morning took 5 minutes because all I had to do was put some curling mouse in it and go to class

I've realized ever since I cut all my hair off, I've started wearing a lot more makeup.
I can only assume it has to do with the fact I feel so unattractive with short hair. Since I feel this way on the inside, I guess I tried to cover the feelings up with makeup on the outside.

I feel slightly silly for writing about my hair, but its been bugging me so much
I just want my long long red hair back :(

Tiger Claw, circa 1989

This week

POSITIVES:
-payday on Friday
-Alex gets here tomorrow at midnight...so technically Friday
-got an A on my Psych Exam
-got a B on my History Exam
-got some super cute clothes this weekend, and today :)
-Erin gave me a free haircut, and some bangs!
-Erin Bresse is coming home this weekend
-I think Clay is in town?
-finally got a new screen name
-found the jacket I've been dying to own
-clean room is always a plus
-I got my laptop back with new LCD screen, keyboard, and wireless thingy mabober and ALL FOR FREEEE
-cigarettes are still cheap ( I dont know why this matters, they will always be cheap in Tobacco haven Virginia)

NEGATIVES:
-I didnt have any sales at work yesterday
-my dad has bitched at me every night over the fact that I have a 3.5 and not a 4.0, FUCK OFF DUDE
-LIVING AT HOME
-dad said he wont help me pay to go to Florida for Spring Break
-Delta chewed my laptop charger, yeah... the brand new one I just got
-my huge ass credit card bill just got bigger again, ooops
-my newer fish sucks in comparison to Gypsy
-this want to be city is too small for me, I need large buildings and a subway

there appears to be more positives this week
I will call it a good week then

I LOVE ALEX!

big river

James J. Bartman Jr.
March 16th, 1987- February 17, 2009

Kenneth McCoy Hart
July 1st,1918- February 16th,2009


You will never know how much you both will be missed
rest in peace.

13

Things I'm happy about.....
-my hair is getting longer!
-I have a job, that I like thus far
-I just got a free roundtrip (or discount) on JetBlue because the tv's were broken on my flight home
-I have straight A's
-Alex being my partner in crime
-I added some colour to the blog
-cheap cigarettes
-sweet potato chips
-I just went to New York to see the love of my life
- Friday the 13th tattoo with new friends

Things that suck right now....
-I'm stuck in Richmond
-Alex is in NYC
-I live at home
-my dog is still eating her poop :(
-I am somehow broke in the bank yet again
-I have a ridiculous credit card statement to pay
-Erin Bresse is too far away to hang out
-I only have 3 good friends here, and they happen to be all busy at the moment
-My uncle died this morning
-My dad thinks just because he gives me money and buys me things, it makes him a loving father
-I'm nowhere near Alex right now
-I'm almost positive nobody misses me in Florida, especially Diana
-my laptop isn't fixed yet!!!!!!
-my eyebrows are in need of some major waxing, but lack of funds is keeping that from happening

womp womp womp
I'm ready to let the good times roll....even if it means leaving everything behind in RVA to get to NYC

yo, fuck Richmond

In the early afternoon yesterday, I was so convinced for the first time I had made the right decision in moving back to Richmond.
But goddamn, last night has changed that for good.
Caroline and I decided to go to a dance/house party on Main Street that apparently a few people we knew were at. It took me going through a designated checkpoint and 20 minutes trying to find a parking spot. We get to the house and walk around back to go inside. It seemed really nice but I didn't see any faces that I knew. Next thing I know, some dumb bitch was pushing me telling me I had to get out and leave.
First off, don't push me
Second, you could have asked me to nicely
Ends up it was some sororities closed party for a sisters 21st birthday. My bad, thought it was any other normal dance party.
After leaving that house and walking 5 blocks in the freezing cold to get to my car, Caroline and I figured we would go to a party on Monument.
That fell through as well.
Parking is so ridiculous downtown :[

Driving back to the West End, I realized that Richmond is just way too small for me and no room for me to fit in anywhere. I can' t stand the bike kids who only care about what others perceive them as.

I want to drop out of school and move to New York

and it's so real I can feel it

Now that I've been home now for over a month, I've begun to ask myself if it was worth leaving Florida.
There are some things that make the move worth it, one being just that little bit closer to Alex ( who's in New York) and friends that still reside in Virginia.
I really do miss being able to wake up next to Alex every morning, see him whenever I want through the day, and just be with him whenever I want though.
but distance does make the heart grow fonder